Sai's Shadow
by Tsukikage Hoshiko
Summary: When Hikaru loses someone close to him will his friends be able to save him from himself? Warning! Spoilers for vol. 15. COMPLETE
1. Prologue

**Sai's Shadow**

When Hikaru loses someone close to him will his friends be able to save him from himself? Warning! Spoilers for vol. 15 Disclaimer: I do not own Hikaru no Go Hotta Yumi and Obata Takeshi do.

**Prologue**

In a small room within the empty Go Institute stood a single boy crying out a plea.

"I should have let Sai play…from the beginning… Anyone would agree. It would have been better to let Sai play all the games. All of them! All of them! All of them! I don't need to play! I won't ask to play again! So... God please turn back time! Turn back time to when I first met him!" Hikaru pleaded to an unseen god.

There was no one to hear his plea, nor answer it. Hikaru broke down into sobs, feeling the terrible void that is called loneliness.

OoOoOoOoOoO

Two boys waited anxiously watching the elevator for a certain blonde pro.

_He's late_ Waya thought. _Shindo, why haven't you come?_ Touya wondered. As the start time approached the two pros filed into sit down for their matches.

Taking a seat Touya mused _And I thought I would finally get a chance to watch you play. Or… are you not coming today?_

_What is he doing? Did he oversleep?_ Waya thought as he sat down _Touya is bothered by Shindo's absence, too…Oh no the games about to start._ The buzzer to start went off and still no sign of the blonde pro.

OoOoOoOoOoOoO

Touya and Waya slowly made to leave, their minds still on their absent friend when they heard Shinoda-sensei talking on the phone.

"You say that Shindo-kun came here yesterday? That's strange, he didn't show up for his pro match today… What? Shindo-kun never came home last night?" Shinoda exclaimed a passing security guard paused.

"Oh, if you are talking about Shindo-kun, I saw him last night. He seemed upset about something and was asking about ghosts, so I showed him the storage room for all the kifu. I looked in later, but it didn't look like anyone was there, I thought he had gone home." The guard said concerned.

Without a second of hesitation Touya and Waya ran to the kifu storage room, hoping to find their missing friend. Throwing open the door they found Shindo curled up in a fetal position, behind the table, staring blankly out into space with tear stained eyes. Without even acknowledging the presence of his two friends, Hikaru muttered random words occasionally.

Hikaru muttered, "no...don't…. Kami-sama….play….please…"

Forcing down his questions, Waya bent down and gently shook his friend "Shindo, are you okay?" Seeing no response he shook the smaller boy harder

"Oi! Shindo answer me!"

Shinoda-sensei and the guard caught up with the two pros, and stood by the doorway stunned.

"Has Shindo-kun been here all night?" Shinoda asked.

Touya bent down and touched Hikaru's face "He's freezing, someone call an ambulance!"

OoOoOoOoOoOo

An anxious Touya and Waya waited for the doctor to tell them of the status of their friend. Waya paced around the room while Touya struggled to maintain his cool façade. Finally the doctor came.

"Physically, Shindo-kun is fine, but mentally, he seems to be in shock. Do either of you know if he has lost anyone close to him recently?" The doctor asked.

"He seems to be mumbling one word a lot, either Sei or Sae or something like that."

Both boys thought one thing. _SAI!_ Shaking their heads both of them admitted that they had no idea if their friend had lost anyone.

The doctor sighed and said, "Well, I'll just have to ask his mother when she arrives. You can go in to see him, but so far he has been unresponsive. You probably won't get much out of him." Waya and Touya thanked the doctor and then went into see their friend.

The pair walked into the room, but Hikaru didn't even acknowledge their presence. He just sat there with a disturbingly blank expression and an eerie silence. The silence seemed so out of place from Hikaru's normal cheerful banter.

Finally Waya broke the silence. "Shindo, you jerk! Making us worry like that, and you even missed one of your pro matches. Those things determine our ranking you know." Waya said.

After another painfully long silence Waya was about to speak again when Hikaru spoke.

"It doesn't matter" Hikaru said in a voice so quiet and cold, it sent chill up both pros spines.

Waya exploded "Of course it matters! You can't move up if you don't play!"

Hikaru interrupted his voice so cold he sounded like a ghost, "It doesn't matter anymore, I'm not going to play go anymore."

Now Touya exploded "Not going to play anymore? Don't screw around! Why did you become a pro if not to play me?"

Hikaru simply turned away from them and uttered one word "Sai"

"Shindo!" Whatever they said, neither boy could get Hikaru to explain either of his statements. He just stared off into space as if expecting something to come from it. Finally, Hikaru's mother came to bring him home, leaving both boys dissatisfied.


	2. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

"Hikaru? It's time to get up now, you'll be late for school" Mrs. Shindo said worriedly.

In a quiet, emotionless voice Hikaru answered, "I'm not going"

"Are you sick? Do you want me to call the school, Hikaru?" The worried mother asked. Not hearing any response, she quickly decided. "I'll call the school, Hikaru, why don't you come down for breakfast."

Mrs. Shindo cast one last worried glance at her strangely quiet son before closing the door, and going to make breakfast.

OoOoOoOoOoO

Akari stared blankly at the go board before her. Her position was pretty bad. She had defended well on the lower right corner but had lost the fight for the upper left and was steadily losing ground on the upper right. Her stones in the lower left were to sparse to have any strength, and there was no hope for the center.

Biting her lip, she bowed her head. "I lose," She said politely.

"You should have pulled back here, and instead strengthen your hold on this corner, but overall not a bad game." Kanako advised.

"Hmm, I see! I probably could have come back if I had just fought a little harder here, and strengthen here." Akari mused.

"You've been getting a lot better Fujisaki, have you been playing Shindo lately?" Kanako asked.

"Sometimes, but mostly he's busy with pro matches." Akari answered. "He's probably playing a pro match today too."

"Don't they only have pro matches for the lower dans only two days a week?" Kanako asked, confused.

"Yes, although now that I think of it, I thought that Hikaru had his pro match yesterday." Akari said.

"But Shindo wasn't here yesterday or today." Kanako stated, "I think sensei said that he was sick or something, though."

There was a soft rap on the window. Turning to see the source, they saw a young man dressed in the school uniform of Kaio Junior High.

"Um, excuse me, do you know where Shindo Hikaru is?" Said the longhaired boy.

"Touya-kun right? I think Hikaru is sick today…" Akari started.

"He is? Do you know where he lives?" Touya interrupted.

"Um, he lives in my neighborhood, I could take you there when I go home today." Akari offered, a little flustered.

"Thank you." Touya replied, glancing over at the go board, he offered "Would you like a tutoring game?"

"Yes, please!"

OoOoOoOoOoO

Hikaru toyed with piece of grass and stared up into the sky. He saw an airplane and then felt a trickle of wetness slide down his face.

_Sai was so amazed at the sight of airplanes, he didn't believe at first the people were in them. He thought that it was a strange kind of bird._ It was odd, in such a modern world, so much reminded Hikaru of his ancient teacher.

Hikaru did not want to get up that day, if it was not for his mother nagging him to at least eat something, he would not have bothered getting out of bed.

His life was so empty without Sai. When he woke up that morning, some part of him convinced himself that Sai was still there. That somehow he would just appear out of nowhere and beg to play a game, and when he glanced at his go board, the room did not feel right without Sai's presence. Even though he was ravenously hungry, the food was tasteless and stuck in the back of his throat. When he swallowed, it fell like a lump in his stomach. After only a few bites, he pushed his food away and excused himself.

He was about to head back to his room, when his mother told him to get outside and do something. Before he had time to protest he was already out the door. Sighing to himself, he aimlessly wandered about, trying to keep his mind off of Sai.

Impossible.

Everything reminded him of Sai; the vending machines, the Go salon signs, the antique store, even the falling Sakura petals. Hikaru had spent every waking moment with Sai, even breathing without him felt strange.

Sighing, he headed back home, his mother should be satisfied. She had sent him out to get some "fresh air" as she put it, so mission accomplished.

Walking into the foyer, he shouted his usual greeting of "I'm home!" After hearing no immediate response, he headed up to his room. Halfway up the stairs, he heard movement in his room.

He was practically leaping up the stairs, and he burst though the door. He yelled. "SAI!"

The three people in the room jumped a little, startled by their friend's sudden appearance, but quickly recovered.

"Hikaru!" Akari greeted warmly.

Touya and Waya simply nodded and greeted him with "Shindo"

Hikaru was crushed. "Oh, um Hi." He greeted his friends half-heartedly.

Akari looked at him curiously, "Hikaru, who is Sai?"

Touya and Waya both jumped a little at that, and hung on Hikaru's every word. This was the mystery that had eluded them the entire time they had known Hikaru.

"I dunno know." He mumbled.

"But, you just said..." Akari started.

"I SAID I DON'T KNOW!" He roared. "LEAVE ME ALONE, I'M NEVER PLAYING GO AGAIN!" With that he fled the house, ignoring the cries of his friends.

He did not return until well after dark. His confused friends had gone home. Hikaru returned to an empty room. Not since he was twelve, could he remember ever being alone in his room. The room felt so cold and empty, it echoed the hole in his heart.


	3. Chapter 2

Chapter 2   
  
After a weeklong absence, Hikaru returned to school. For most of the day he laid his head down on his desk, or simply stared out the window. Whenever he was greeted, his expression would totally change from a wistful, lonely look to a warm, energetic smile. Akari caught up to Hikaru and lunch.   
  
"Hikaru? I heard that you came back, Kanako-san said so. Are you okay now? Is everything better with your friend?" Akari inquired, concerned.   
  
Hikaru responded with a warm smile, "Yeah, I'm fine Akari, sorry for making you worry. Don't worry about Touya and Waya, I'll apologize later."   
  
"That's great Hikaru! But I was talking about your friend Sai." Akari responded.   
  
Hikaru's smile faltered a little, "I don't know any Sai." He said quietly.   
  
"But…" She objected.   
  
"I said I don't know any Sai!" Hikaru yelled. Hikaru hesitated, and then smiled warmly again.   
  
"I'm sorry Akari, I'll tell you later, but now's not a good time. Lunch is about to end, could you meet me after school at this place?" He asked, handing her a folded note.   
  
"Umm, Okay Hikaru," She said, accepting the note. "But you owe me an explanation!" She pouted.   
  
Hikaru chuckled, and then ran off to his . "I'll give you one, I promise!"   
  
As Akari opened the note, she wondered; _there was something off about Hikaru, something missing._ Opening the note she was puzzled at the address, Honinbo Shusaku's Tokyo grave? Why on earth would Hikaru want to talk there? With these questions in her heart, she finally realized what was wrong with Hikaru.   
  
His smile was empty. 

* * *

  
  
Akari was worried again, Hikaru had left school a little early on sick leave. As she was walking to the train station she wondered if she should still meet at the promised place. Shaking off those concerns, she purchased the train ticket. It was odd to think of Hikaru being sick. He hadn't been sick since 6th grade, when he had collapsed over his grandfather's go board. Looking back on it, after that day he had changed. He had started playing go and passing his history tests, even though he had always gotten Fs before. He also seemed to always be looking over his shoulder, and mumbling to himself. Shaking her self out of her reverie, she realized that she had already gotten off at her stop and had walked to her destination without thinking about it.   
  
"Touya-kun! Waya-kun!" She exclaimed, she was surprised to see them there. She had assumed that Hikaru had wanted to talk to her alone.   
  
"Fujisaki-san! I did not expect to see you here." Touya responded.   
  
"That damn Shindo! How long is he going to keep us waiting? It's already 4:30!" Waya complained.   
  
"Hey! You kids!" A loud voice exclaimed. Kawai-san, the loud-mouthed taxi driver, came up and ruffled Waya's hair, "the brat asked me to give you this letter, and to let only Touya Akira open it." He explained.   
  
"That brat, he said he would only pay me back for that trip to Hiroshima if I delivered this letter at this time. What do I look like, a delivery service?" Kawai-san grumbled.   
  
Puzzled, Touya accepted the letter and started to read the contents. His eyes widened, and he nearly dropped the letter. With shaking hands, he continued reading.   
  
"It can't be true." He whispered.   
  
"Well, what does it say?" asked Waya impatiently.   
  
In a trembling voice, Touya began to read the contents out loud.   
  
_A long, long time ago, in the Hein era, there lived a young Go master. This Go master taught the emperor himself. However, there was another Go master a more elderly one, and he insisted that there only be one Go master. So it was decided that there would be a match to determine who would remain in the capital to teach. The game was pretty much even. However, during the match, the young master saw, by chance, the elder master had slipped a stone into his container, as if it were a captured stone. While everyone's attention was focused on the board, the young master was about to raise his voice when the other master jumped up and accused the young master of his crime. The game continued, but disheartened, the young master lost the match.   
  
Banished from the capital and branded a cheater, two days later the young master drowned himself. However, his spirit could not rest in peace, his soul hovered around a Go board. One day he found a boy that could see his tears of resentment, he then resided in the heart of that young boy. The ghost played countless games though the young boy, by the time the boy had reached twenty, he had surpassed his master. He earned the reputation as a legendary Go player. However, at the young age of 36 he died over a Go board.   
  
Over a hundred years later, another boy found the Go board with blood stains only he could see. "Can you hear me? Kami-sama, I am grateful for this second chance." The ghost cried with happiness. However, the second boy was different. He knew nothing of Go and had no desire to play. Although after much nagging, the ghost convinced the boy to play for him. The boy soon developed an interest for Go, and started letting the ghost play less and less. And finally, he would only let the ghost play against himself. He didn't want to draw attention to himself, he wanted his talent to be noticed. He wanted to be recognized instead of the ghost. However one day everything changed, after nearly 3 years, suddenly the ghost disappeared.   
  
The ghost's name was Fujiwara no Sai._   
  
"Sai!?!" Waya exclaimed. "A ghost? Impossible!"   
  
Touya was shaking. "Wait… there is more."   
  
_I should have let Sai play from the very beginning. I was nothing, he was a genius! Anyone would have said that. I should have let him play all the games, all of them! I don't need anything, I won't ask to play Go ever again if it would mean that he would come back to me. I can't stand it. I can't stand the silence, the emptiness. I have never been completely alone since I was 12 years old. I'm not going to be alone anymore, I'm going to go meet Sai again, where we first met.   
  
Goodbye.   
  
Hikaru_

* * *

_Author's note: Man, now I know why other authors always beg for feedback. It's basically the only reason to actually post on Fanfiction.net. I mean, I know what's going to happen, and my friends are my beta-readers, so the only reason to put it on the net is to get feedback from other people. Seriously though, I actually have the entire story written already. Unfortunatly, deciphering my friend's editing job is proving to be a challenge. She is very good at what she does, but she sure does butcher my poor story. Give me enough reviews, and I'll make it a point to post faster. _


	4. Chapter 3

* * *

Chapter 3   
  
The four Go players hovered around the letter in shock.   
  
Shindo Hikaru was going to commit suicide.   
  
Impossible.   
  
Shindo Hikaru was too strong, too stubborn to even think of such an act. And yet, in the hands of Touya Akira, lay the undeniable proof. Shindo Hikaru had sent them a suicide note. The image of the normally cheerful boy, had been dimmed since his collapse a week ago. but this sudden revelation shattered it. After a moment of silence all hell broke loose.   
  
Akari panicked. "What are we going to do? Hikaru is probably already-"   
  
"Don't say that! There has to be a way, we just have to think of it!" Waya yelled.   
  
"But…" Akari started.   
  
"Fujisaki, think! You've known Shindo the longest. Where could he be?" Waya asked frantically.   
  
"I don't know! Hikaru never told me anything. Especially after…" Akari thought back frantically, and suddenly everything fell into place. The mystery that had shrouded her once close friend was now becoming clear, as she remembered…   
  
_"This stain won't come off." Hikaru complained.   
  
Akari leaned over, "I don't see a stain, it's clean"   
  
"There is a blood stain here." Hikaru continued.   
  
Akari looked closer "Where?"   
  
"Here" Hikaru pointed.   
  
"Where??" Akari asked again.   
  
"HERE!" Hikaru raised his voice. "Yeah, that's what I was saying…" he continued.   
  
**Who was he talking to then?**   
  
Suddenly Hikaru stood up, and searched the room frantically. "Who's there?" He exclaimed.   
  
Frightened, Akari started to leave, when she heard Hikaru collapse. "Hikaru?" Whe she went to him, Hikaru was already unconscious.   
  
**That's right, since that day….**   
  
"Go?" Akari asked puzzled "Hikaru plays go?"   
  
**He was always looking over his shoulder, distracted by something. And he even passed history! He changed after that day. I always wondered why…**_   
  
"Fujisaki! FUJISAKI!" Waya's voice snapped Akari out of her reverie.   
  
"I know where he is! He's going to go to his Grandfather's house! That must be where he met Sai!" Akari exclaimed.   
  
Then despaired, "but, its at the other side of town, that's at least a 25 minute train ride from here, we'll never make it! Hikaru is probably already--"   
  
"Don't say that!" Everyone jumped. Kawai-san had finally said something, surprising everyone. "Everyone get in my taxi, I can have us there in five minutes." Everyone was shocked, and slow to react.   
  
"Well, get a move on!" Kawai-san barked.   
  
With that everyone scrambled into the taxi.

* * *

Hikaru hovered around the window of his room. He knew that Akari would be coming home before going to "meet" him. He had no intention whatsoever of accidentally running into Akari, and having to postpone his plans. Unfortunately a week of barely eating or sleeping had taken its toll on Hikaru's body. He had fainted shortly after lunch, during gym class. It took a lot of effort to convince his mother to let him go out, he told her that he was going to go meet up with some friends to hang out. After much persistence, his mother finally gave in saying that she had been worried about him not getting out enough lately. Feeling slightly guilty about lying, well it wasn't exactly a lie, its just that his friend happened to be dead.   
  
Finally, 4:00 rolled by, and he could see Akari walking down the street to the train station. After waiting about a few minutes, he left to catch his own train.   
  
Arriving at his grandfather's house, he snuck in, so as not to alert his grandfather. Pulling out the old Go board, he ran his fingers across the grain of the wood.   
  
"It's completely gone" He whispered as if surprised.   
  
Digging down deeper into the chest he found two old Go containers. Inside were beautiful clam shell and slate stones. Unable to resist the urge, he started to place the stones, replaying Sai's last game with him. Finally reaching his last move, he stared across the board, as if expecting Sai to suddenly appear to finish the game. A wretch in his heart as the realization hit him once again, and he remembered why he had come here. Taking out the family tanto that he had stolen from the display case in his grandfather's living room, he slowly ran his finger across it. Wincing at the pain, a trickle of blood ran down his finger. He decided it was sharp enough. With closed eyes he held his breath and quickly ran it across his wrist, cutting nearly to the bone. Gasping with pain, Hikaru let his hand drop on the Go board, spilling none of the stones, only his blood. After several minutes, Hikaru started to feel very cold, and weak. He was almost mesmerized by the growing red stain. _How appropriate, that both Sai's hosts spill their blood on the same Go board._ Looking up Hikaru thought he could see the barest outline of the Hein period ghost.   
  
Smiling weakly he whispered "Sai, its your turn."   
  
Just before his vision blacked out entirely, he heard his name called.   
  
_"Hikaru!"_

__

__

* * *

_Author's note: Thanks everyone for your reviews. I makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. To Kori Nibiki and Kyaroru-chan, you get the no-prize for figuring out my plot! Yea! Ummm, that just means special recognition, I can't really give you anything (well I could but that would take effort and thought). I really like reviews, and I don't mind if you do semi-rants, or even full rants. As long as its constructive, I'm fine with it. Now then, I've left you all with quite a cliffhanger haven't I? Unfortunately, I'm going to Oregon for the weekend, and probably won't have time to post until like Monday. I might even post later than that. Although... if I get enough reviews, it might motivate me to post as soon as possible hint, hint. Seriously though, the reason I even posted the third chapter so quickly is because of the reviews. It lets me know that someone else is enjoying the fruits of my labor. _


	5. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**   
  
Waya bounced impatiently in his seat. "Hey old man, can't you go any faster?"   
  
"OLD MAN!?!" Kawai-san roared. "Why you little brat, if I go any faster, we'll get in a car wreck, and then we will be too late."   
  
"Oh, sorry" Waya mumbled, ashamed.   
  
"Fujisaki-san, how much further is it?" Touya asked politely, but he could barely keep his voice calm.   
  
"Just a couple more blocks, we should be there in a few minutes." Akari responded. Hikaru, you better be alright.   
  
"There! There it is stop!" Akari directed.   
  
Slamming on the breaks, the taxi came to a screeching halt. Akari jumped out of the car and ran at full speed to the attic that she and Hikaru had visited so long ago. She ran past a puzzled Shindo-Jiisan, not even bothering to take off her shoes as she entered the house.   
  
"Akari-chan? Wha-" He began, but he found himself talking to the wind.   
  
Akari slammed the door open, and took the rickety ladder as fast as she dared. As she was climbing she heard a faint voice.   
  
"Sai, it's your turn."   
  
"Hikaru!" She screamed when she heard a thump. The scene that she came upon was the stuff of nightmares. Blood and Go stones everywhere, and yet, there was a faint smile on Hikaru's face.   
  
"Somebody, call an ambulance! Somebody! Anybody! Please!" She pleaded frantically.   
  
Touya walked up quietly, but was visibly shaken. "They are on their way, just close the wounds until they get here. I'll help"   
  
An ambulance came to take Hikaru to the emergency room a few long minutes later. Akari was stunned, she could not take her eyes off the bloodstained Go board.

* * *

A white ceiling, and the smell of rubbing alcohol. The regular beeps coming from various machines, and the feel of bandages on his wrists, all these things assaulted Hikaru's senses as he ascended from the depths of unconsciousness.   
  
"Funny, the afterlife sure seems like a hospital." Hikaru stated.   
  
"Glad to see you still have a sense of humor" Touya remarked dryly.   
  
Hikaru jumped, startled, he really **had** expected to be in the afterlife.   
  
Suddenly realization came crashing down. With a sob he choked out a hoarse "Why? Why did you stop me?"   
  
"Idiot, because we're your friends." Touya replied smoothly.   
  
"But… I was so close… I **saw** him." Hikaru insisted. Then his expression twisted with anger, "YOU RUINED EVERYTHING!"   
  
Touya was startled, "Shindo, I…"   
  
"NO! YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND ANYTHING! YOU NEVER WILL! WHY CAN'T YOU ALL JUST LEAVE ME ALONE?" Hikaru yelled.   
  
Touya was taken back by the anger and resentment in Hikaru's voice. Stunned, he found himself unable to say anything to his friend and rival. Hikaru raged on until the yelling alerted the hospital staff that their new charge was awake. The orderlies hurried to sedate Hikaru before he could reopen any of his wounds. Touya stood there unable to make sense of any of Hikaru's actions from the last week.

* * *

Akari's brows furrowed in confusion while listening to Touya's description of Hikaru's behavior. "That doesn't sound like Hikaru."   
  
"And slashing his wrists does?" Waya snapped.   
  
Waya instantly felt guilty as Akari's eyes started to well up with tears again.   
  
Waya mentally kicked himself. _How could you have forgotten that they were so close? They were **only** childhood friends._ "Um… Fujisaki…I, ah, I didn't mean… I mean, I'm sorry, for snapping at you like that." He fumbled awkwardly. "I mean… I know that you and Shindo are close…"   
  
Akari wiped her tears away and shook her head. "No, its okay. Actually, it seems like ever since Hikaru started playing Go, we've kind of drifted apart." She smiled weakly. "That's why I tried to learn Go, but it feels like I'll always be playing catch up."   
  
"Fujisaki-san, do you believe Hikaru's story?" Touya asked, deep in thought.   
  
Waya and Akari jumped, they had almost forgotten that Touya was in the room.   
  
"I think it makes sense." Akari started. "And Hikaru certainly believes it. I'm pretty sure that Hikaru had never even touched a Go board before that day we were in his grandfather's attic. And then suddenly he's interested in Go, and acing history tests."   
  
Akari laughed nervously. "I should have known something was funny. He faints over a Go board, and the next day he's acing History. Then I find out that he had suddenly taken up Go. It was so strange, for someone that was playing Go so much, he didn't seem to enjoy it until we entered Junior High School." Akari mused.   
  
Touya's head snapped up. "When did he collapse over the Go board?"   
  
"Umm, I think it was in fall of sixth grade… It was a few days before my sister's school's cultural fair…so I think that it was in November, mid November." Akari said.   
  
"Could it have been around November 17th?" Touya asked.   
  
Akari was deep in thought. "Yes, now I remember! It was November 16th that he collapsed over the Go board!" Akari said, proud that she had remembered.   
  
"And he had never had any interest in Go before that event right? You are sure?" Touya asked with intensity.   
  
"Yes, I'm sure… Touya-san, why are you asking these things, how did you know it happened around November 17th?" Akari asked confused.   
  
"That's the day I met Shindo, the first time I had ever played him. He beat me easily, and he could not even hold the stones properly." Touya stated. "I believe him."   
  
Shocked, Akari and Waya could only nod their heads in agreement.

* * *

Hikaru stared blankly at the ceiling. Ever since he had woken up, he had been treated so differently. As if everyone expected him to jump out the window or something. (Then again, he might have tried it if there weren't bars on the windows). After a couple of psychologists came in to talk to him, he quickly deduced that he was in some kind of mental institution. _Great, they decided to stick me with the crazies. Then again, maybe I'm not so different from them. What if Sai wasn't real?_ Hikaru had refused to talk to anyone after Touya left. If he tried to tell anyone about Sai, he'd probably never be able to leave. That was assuming that Touya and the others hadn't already told the doctors what was in the note. _That's why I never told anyone. They'd never believe me._ Hikaru thought bitterly.   
  
A soft knock startled him out of his reverie. Looking up, he recognized Akari, Waya, and Touya.   
  
"Hikaru?" Akari said meekly, "Can we come in?"   
  
Hikaru mumbled an affirmative as Akari, Waya, and Touya came in and made themselves comfortable.   
  
"I believe you." Touya stated in an even voice.   
  
**That** shocked Hikaru. Touya continued, "When we were comparing notes, we realized that that is the best explaination as to why you could collapse one day and suddenly be a Go master the next day."   
  
Hikaru recovered. "So, I guess you've finally found Sai, huh? Too bad he's not here anymore." Looking down, he said bitterly.   
  
"No…" Touya replied. "But you are."   
  
Hikaru chuckled humorlessly, "I was never anything, all you saw was Sai. I am NOTHING in comparison!"   
  
"Hikaru…" Akari started.   
  
"NO! YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND! I WAS SELFISH! IF ONLY I HAD LET HIM PLAY ALL THE GAMES, EVERYTHING WOULD HAVE BEEN FINE!" Hikaru roared.   
  
Turning to Touya, he said. "I just wanted you to look at me with those serious eyes, to see me as your rival. But I could never measure up, you're in another world. I'll always be playing catch-up."   
  
Looking downcast he added, "All I'll ever see is your back, as you walk straight down the path to greatness, to the Move of God."   
  
Touya's normally calm face twisted with frustration and anger. "Don't be absurd! Who beat the Kenkyuusei Huang Su-Young? Who passed the Pro exam? Who rose to the level of pros in only two years?"   
  
Touya took a few deep breaths and then stated calmly, "To tell you the truth, I wanted to ignore you. I wanted to walk the path that had been set before me, but you would not let me. You drew me to you, everything you did, with each game I heard of, you somehow drew me to you."   
  
Hikaru was stunned.   
  
"I think I have always seen you as a rival, not just because of your Go play style. But because of your spirit. Your spirit to overcome, to persevere. Sai, or Hikaru's Go, it does not matter, I saw your spirit, and that's what mattered."   
  
Hikaru looked down, so as to hide the tears streaming down his face. "But Sai was better, I'm only a shadow of what he was. I can't ever replace him." Hikaru's voice quivered, "Touya-sensei, and Ogata-sensei, they both wanted to play him. Because of my selfishness, they'll never get the chance. Its all my fault that Sai, the best Go player I've ever known has left this world forever! I can never fix that."   
  
"Your Go play style is good enough, maybe it is not equal to Sai's yet, but I have no doubt that it will one day surpass his. You have something that Sai did not, something that can not be compensated with experience." Touya explained.   
  
"But still…" Hikaru started.   
  
Touya interrupted, "Lets play a game, here and now."   
  
Akari and Waya, who had been nearly forgotten in the dialogue between Touya and Hikaru, shifted uncomfortably.   
  
"I brought a Go board! It's in my backpack." Akari suddenly piped up. "Its only a folding board, and the stones are plastic, is that okay?"   
  
Touya turned toward her, suddenly losing the intensity in his eyes, "Yes, Fujisaki-san, I would appreciate it if you would lend me your Go set." He said politely.

* * *

Hikaru nervously reached into the go bowl and tentatively selected a stone. Once again, he allowed himself to feel the flow of the game. Closing his eyes, he recalled one of the first lessons that Sai had taught him. With sudden resolve he opened his eye and placed the stone. His eyes took on a level of focus that would have seemed out of place on his troubled face a moment ago, but the transformation made his game face seem so… right.   
  
Touya noted Hikaru's change of demeanor. Smiling inwardly, he felt as if he had already won a battle, and he had yet to place a stone. Studying his rival's move, Touya planned carefully, and then placed his stone.   
  
Stone after stone, turn after turn, the game steadily progressed. Against his own resolve, Hikaru was finding that he was enjoying the game more and more as time went by. Reaching out to place the next stone, he nearly stopped mid-move. He could almost see the graceful hand, Sai's hand, moving to place his stone. Not noticing that Touya had taken his turn, Hikaru stared at the board. After several minutes, Touya and the others realized that the flow of the game had been broken. Looking up they were shocked at what they saw.   
  
Tears streamed down Hikaru's face, and yet there was a nostalgic smile on his face. His friends looked at him inquisitively. After what seemed like an eternity, he finally said "This move… he used to play like this. No matter where I looked I couldn't find him… and he was here all along."   
  
"Shindo…" Touya started.   
  
Hikaru interrupted. "He was always here, in my Go. Sai…" With sudden resolve, he wiped away his tears. "I'll play! From now on I'll play tens, no hundreds, no thousands of games. With Touya, with Waya, with Ochi, with everyone. As long as I have Go, Sai will always be at my side."   
  
Sensing that the huge burden that had weighed so heavily on their friend had been lifted, the four friends smiled at each other. Akari broke into tears of joy and leapt into Hikaru's arms. Waya ruffled Hikaru's hair, and joked with the younger boy, relieved that the atmosphere had cleared. Touya simply stood back, and smiled a knowing smile. All of them were looking forward to the bright tomorrow.

* * *

_Author's note: I can't believe it's June already! Well, I intended on posting sooner, but May just kind of slipped by me. Anyway, for those of you that asked for longer chapters, here you go. This chapter is twice as long as the other ones. The funny thing is, when my friends read it, they thought that it was too long, but when I look at it, I think "Man these are really short chapters". On retrospect, I guess I should have made it a one-shot, and just combined all the chapters. Although when you do that, you don't get the benefit of the dramatic pause that is inherent in the end of a chapter.   
  
Oh, and by the way, if anyone does know the date of when Hikaru no Go started, that would be great. I choose the date for Hikaru's collapse, not entirely on a whim. I seem to remember at the start of the series, there were leave falling, so it was probably Autumn right? And it was also cold, they said that when Kaga threatened to throw Hikaru in the pool. So I guessed that it was around late Autumn, so I just made up November 16th as the day Hikaru met Sai.   
  
I want to thank you all for reviewing, your feedback has pushed me to post faster. Also, I have an idea for the sequel, read the epilogue, and you'll get a pretty good idea of what I mean. The more feedback I recieve, the likelier the chance is that I'll start writing again. _


	6. Epilogue

**Epilogue**

****

_"Can you hear me? Hikaru?"   
  
Eyes slowly opened. "Sai?"   
  
"Yes, Hikaru, it's me."   
  
Hikaru opened his eyes, and saw the figure that had practically been his shadow for the past two years.   
  
"SAI!" Hikaru exclaimed. "I missed you so much, where did you go? So much has happened since you left! I told Touya, Akari and Waya about you, and guess what. They believed me! I finally have someone to talk to that knows about us! It took a little time and counseling, but they finally released me from that institution. After my release, I won all my games so I'm already a 2-dan!"   
  
Sai simply smiled, a simple gesture that said so much without saying anything.   
  
Hikaru broke off from his excited explanation, "Sai, why did you leave me?"   
  
Sai turned to Hikaru and smiled sadly, "There are some things that cannot be helped or changed. My time was done. I was fortunate to be given an additional thousand years beyond my time. I do not regret one moment of it."   
  
Hikaru's face dropped, "You're going to leave me again? No! Don't go! Don't disappear again!"   
  
Sai smiled mysteriously, "For every introduction, there is a parting. All things must end Hikaru. But although we will never meet like this again, take comfort that we will see each other sooner than you think." Sai extended his hand, pointing his fan at Hikaru. Puzzled Hikaru took the fan and gazed at it, fascinated. Sai looked away from Hikaru with a distant expression, almost as if he was hearing something from somewhere far away. Smiling sadly he breathed a final "Goodbye, Hikaru." And faded away like the morning mist.   
  
Hikaru cried softly, "Sai.." and yet there was a glimmer of a smile upon his face._   
  
"SAI!" Hikaru woke up. The events of the dream slowly dawning on him. _I saw him again, I wonder what he meant…_   
  
"Hikaru!" His father called to him.   
  
Hikaru had dozed off, in the waiting room. He was waiting for his new sibling to be born. Shortly after his "nervous breakdown" his parents announced that he was going to be a big brother. Apparently the family crisis had brought his parents closer together, rather than tearing the family apart. Hikaru was alternately excited and nervous about the new development. He was thinking of all the things he could teach his new sibling, maybe he would even teach him to play Go.   
  
"Hikaru, come and see your new brother." His mother beckoned.   
  
Hikaru hurried over to his mother's side. Eyes widened as they took in the scene, cradled in his mother's arms was a baby had a soft tuff of purple hair, and amethyst eyes.   
  
"Sai." He breathed.   
  
"Sai?" His mother looked at him, puzzled. Then her expression changed, and she smiled. "Sai, that's a good name."   
  
"Hikaru, say hello to your new brother, Shindo Sai."

* * *

_Author's note: When I wrote this chapter, I was setting myself up for a sequel. I kind of thought that it was a little too cliche, but my friends said that it was quite a suprise. Well, either way, when I start the sequel, this is a nice lead in. The sequel should be alot happier, I keep on envisioning a chibi Sai tugging at Hikaru's sleeve and saying "Hikaru! I want to play!". Well I guess, Sai will either call him Hikaru-nichan, or just Nichan _


End file.
